Harrison went back to work last Monday after two weeks of paternity leave. Honestly, I was dreading it. I was doubting my ability, and terrified of the prospect of suddenly facing the reality of being a stay at home mother of two children.
Paternity leave had taken the edge off welcoming our new arrival and suddenly I was thrown in at the deep end.
The deep end was far shallower than I had anticipated. In fact it barely grazed my calves. I had been envisioning a screaming newborn while Dylan needed bathing or both children crying in the middle of the night while I had to decide which one to tend to. Even worse, I was waiting for the moment that I was struggling to stop something from burning while Dylan climbed something and fell off on top of a sleeping Isla. (Nice and rational)
In reality our days are longer and messier than they used to be. Cleaning is left until Dylan has gone to bed, our meals are a little less healthy and leaving the house is once again trial and error. But Dylan loves his sister, he loves to help change her nappy, choose her clothes and put her to bed. And he's more than happy to remind me to give her "boobie milk ma?"
He's patient when I need to sit and feed Isla rather than sit on the floor and play with his building blocks and he's adjusting faster than I could have hoped.
When Isla sleeps (which for now is a fair part of the day) we do special things together, most recently we've been baking. Banana bread seems to be a favourite in our house. And we have cuddles when she wakes up, just the three of us (and sometimes Darcey).
We're learning and adapting to life as it is now and I'm trying to find the right balance when it comes to looking after two children with different needs.
I suspect I'll be learning and trying to find a balance for many years to come, I'm ready for that though. It's a journey I'm looking forward to.
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