In honesty I stay away from anything that has fixed rules, a timeframe or specific milestones (and that includes baby centre) because I heavily suspect that while my children surpass milestones or expectations I would be incredibly proud and feel like an amazing mother, if they were to fall behind in any way my neurotic streak would come out to play and I would panic that this would somehow affect them forever.
"Oh god, Dylan can only say five words instead of ten by eighteen months!! Obviously he'll only have half a vocabulary for the rest of his life!! And it's all my fault!!"
The only times I really wish I had read a book is when people start giving me advice or (god forbid) start rattling off reasons why the xyz things I'm going are all wrong and I have no knowledge to fight my corner. In fact, the only reason we live like we do and I 'parent' like I do is because its easy.
We co-sleep. I co-slept with Dylan every night for the first night at home till a day after he turned eighteen months and he got his own bed.. Why? Because I got more sleep co-sleeping than I did having to get up multiple times each night to settle him in his own bed.
I breastfeed because its easier (and not to mention cheaper).
I used the sling with Dylan because it was easier than pushing round a pram.
We tried baby led weaning because it was easier than using jars.
I could go on, but I think you've got my point. Nothing I do is because I've read it or I'm trying a method. Everything is because its what works best for us. I buy Moses baskets, cots and toddler beds and apparently my bed is the preferred place to sleep, well at least opposed to the basket and cot.
I remember when I got Dylan his bed when he turned eighteen months and my ask box on tumblr blew up with people telling me Dylan was too young and that he'd roll off and break his arm (or something to that effect).
I had countless people (both online and on my life) tell me that breastfeeding past twelve months was a bad idea and yet I fed Dylan for twenty three...
Why is how I raise my child open for debate?
Why do we do this? Impose our opinions on people who haven't asked for them?
When it comes to parenting I ask for advice when I feel I need it and I'm thankful for the wealth of information available to me.
But when I don't need or (most importantly) want it, advice and opinions about how I'm raising my children make me feel awkward and pretty offended.
I'm fine with admitting I wish I did things
'better', that my life looked like many of the parenting blogs I follow or the boards on Pinterest I create. I wish I were craftier and more social and my house bigger.
But trying to emulate that or anything else for that matter, based on the opinions of other people would be a nightmare.
Our life works because our routine, diet, clothes, activities etc are tailored around us and what we all need. Until you've slotted yourself into our lives you can't know what works for us.
I'm so glad that you sleep trained your child at 4 months but please don't hand me whatever book you used for that and expect me to do it too and ask for updates every time we talk.
Likewise, thank you for your concern but don't peek into my pram and tell me that my new baby will be far too hot in a cardigan.
Please don't give me lectures on the benefits of puréed baby food to alert me of why my choice of how to wean my children is wrong. I sympathise, but it's not my concern that your friends, friend's baby choked on a piece of turnip when they tried baby led weaning.
Our life works for us. I parent according to my children's needs, everything is fluid and changeable (except that we will always have a routine) based on what works for us. If I'm happily doing something and my children are happy too then leave us to it.
Yes! Thank you! I've been wanting to write something similar to this for ages but every time I plan to, someone says something & I know they'll assume it's aimed at them. Very annoying. X
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