PREGNANCY - WEEKS FIFTEEN TO THIRTY THREE

FIRST TRIMESTER

During my first trimester I was sick as a dog, sicker in fact. Pregnancy does not treat me well, which at least this time I was prepared for. I lost eighteen pounds thanks to morning sickness, my hair fell out and I was generally really unwell. All perfect over Christmas and while we were moving house.

I spent a lot of time laying down in my first trimester and while I laid there feeling sorry for myself I made huge lists of potential wardrobe purchases for little bird. I suddenly developed a sense of longing for a girl based on the variety of clothes I could buy. Pregnancy hormones makes you a little crazy I guess.

SECOND TRIMESTER

I finally gained back four of the eighteen pounds I'd lost despite still having pretty violent morning sickness. Gaining weight is strange. I'm starting to have the niggles of anorexia in my mind over the weight gain and yet I'm setting myself weight gain goals that should terrify me. It's ok though, I'm prepared for this. 

Cravings are kicking my butt big time, I NEED a fiorentina from Pizza Express and all the veggie burgers from Nandos. Cravings are pointless when you have morning sickness because you're just ill and yet you want all this rich (spicy) food. I also need some lemon drizzle cake, except I hate lemon drizzle cake, so that's probably not the best idea.

At a scheduled growth scan we found out we're having a girl this time. Obviously we'd agreed on a boys name already but we're still arguing over potential girls names. I like Lola, Beatrix and Evelyn. Harrison doesn't. He likes Ruby. 

We've decided on a name: Isla Evelyn.

The urge to start nesting is driving me insane, I've been obsessively cleaning and organising the house so I feel like I'm doing something. Is it too early to set up the cot?

My milk seems to be 'drying up' and changing back into colostrum. While Dylan isn't showing signs of giving up completely he's starting asking for a bottle of almond milk at nap time instead of the boob. I hadn't really thought about this happening as a side effect of my pregnancy. He's nearly two now though so I suppose it's something I should have considered happening anyway. If I'm honest, sometimes with how tender my boobs have become over the last few weeks, breastfeeding isn't at all enjoyable anymore. Even if he does stop I feel like when little bird is here he'll want to start again, I'm ok with that, tandem feeding doesn't feel impossible.

I've gained more weight, ten pounds back so now I only have another eight to go before I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm also starting to get a bump now which is helping with the weight gain somewhat. 

She moves so much now, even Harrison can feel her wriggling about when he has his hand on my stomach.  

Dylan came to my twenty week abnormality scan, he watched the screen the whole time.

Half way there.

I've started buying clothes, it's a downward spiral from here really. I'm determined to buy as little pink as possible which is actually quite fun. 

People keep asking why I've done so much already, by now I've ordered her pram, decorated her bedroom and trying to buy as much as possible ready for her arrival. I'm a bit bored of explaining about the constraints anorexia has put on my body and how that affects my pregnancies. I need to be ready to go from about thirty two weeks. 

I've gained another 1.5lbs now bringing me up to 109.3lbs. I'm getting there with this weight gain thing.

My heart isn't doing so well, my cardiologist isn't very happy and I'm having extra monitoring now, but of course this is as expected and I think he has a few plans in place for if anything gets too serious. 

I've been having loads of braxton hicks. They aren't fun at all. 

Today I got my favorite message from Baby Centre: Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With a sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance.

I dyed my hair and started taking Biotin supplements. Hopefully the supplements will stop is snapping and falling out.

Another two pounds gained, I'm 111.5lbs now. Depending on where little bird is laying my bump completely changes now, it makes getting dressed strange as for the most part I'm still in my 24's, but sometimes if halfway through the day she moves right down into my pelvis they can feel a little tight.

I'm addicted to Ebay.

THIRD TRIMESTER

Dylan is Two!! Where has time gone?! This week we've focus on him and celebrating his last birthday as an only child. I'm so proud of him, his attitude is so happy and chilled out and he astounds me with how many things he just picks up and carries into everyday life on a daily basis. I can't believe I'm going to have all of this again with Isla. It makes me fat too emotional to think about it.

I actually lost just over a pound and now I'm back down to 110.4lbs. I spent a while beating myself up about it but I've let it go now especially after my growth scan where she measured perfectly for her gestation. They estimate she weighs about 2lb 10oz now!

I've started to really crave mars bars and kiwis. I love kiwis so that's fine, but I don't even like chocolate.

Things are getting more and more difficult, braxton hicks, heart palpitations, dizziness and back ache make everyday life pretty unpleasent. I keep telling myself it's only another nine weeks (give or take) until they induce me, if I can get through that horrendous first trimester I can do another nine weeks. 

I hope it goes fast. 

Baby bird is the size of a cabbage. A friend pointed out I now have my very own Cabbage Patch doll.

Last night I was taken into hospital contracting for 40 seconds every two minutes. After four hours of not progressing and some medication to stop the contractions they let me go home. 

We had two scans this week. One our normal growth scan where they estimated her to now weigh 4lb 1oz and then we had a 4D bonding scan. The bonding scan was amazing. I had one for Dylan and we've been comparing the photos. It's so crazy how much they look alike, they honestly could be twins, although I think Isla has a smaller chin. 

I gained back that pound and I'm 111lbs again. I've been here for ages which is making me nervous, but bird is growing fine and my blood results are all stable so I've been told not to worry. 

The scan did show some abnormal levels of amniotic fluid. We've been told not to worry too much and I've been scheduled to have the GTT and another scan to check everything out in more detail. 

Pregnancy is definitely reaching the impossible stage. I've been advised that I should go on bed rest for be benefit of my health, but with a toddler to care for that's not going to happen. I'm trying to stay positive because extra stress and anxiety are the exact opposite of what I need. 

I had my scan to check my amniotic fluid levels. They've increased even more so are now even further out of the normal range. Little birds growth has also spiked and she's suddenly gained a lot of weight 1lb 9 oz in the past two weeks taking her up to 5lb 10oz which is what Dylan weighed when he was born at thirty seven weeks.

Speaking of Dylan he's suddenly really interested in my 'boo-booies' again, he keeps trying to latch on. Maybe I wasn't so crazy in thinking he'd restart once I'm feeding the smallest one. As well as that he's being amazing recently. I think the weather finally being nice is contributing to this, but being able to run around in the sun is bringing out the best in him which is of course helpful when I'm in so much pain. I do worry though as I've been blacking out even more than usual over the past two weeks. I'm seeing my midwife on Thursday (when I turn thirty five weeks) so we'll talk about it then, I'm hoping we can book my induction date sooner rather than later so I can try and arrange some time to relax and visit my physiotherapist a few times before go time. 

I've finally gained some more weight, two pounds to be exact, bringing me to 113lbs!  This is an achievement, despite it also coming with the reality that I wont reach my 120lbs (minimum) goal by thirty seven weeks. I'm pleased I've finally gained some weight as it means I'm not physically losing weight while bird is growing. Although I suspect it's just a case of my weight remaining the same while she's grown and my fluid has increased. People have been asking lots about my estimate for my post-patrum weight and measurements. That's pretty unhelpful, I'm trying to drown out the anorexia at the moment, especially now I'm gaining weight and getting bigger. 

I still need to buy the playmat, record book, photo album and a 'special blanket'. Hopefully I'll get that done next week or early the following week. In reality I only have three weeks left anyway so I don't have any other time to get it done. 

Also, I've mentioned on Youtube, I completely forgot to buy any 0-3 months clothes. I have masses of tiny baby, early baby, up to one month and 3-6 months stuff but no 0-3 months. Luckily I've spotted some lush collections of stuff so I'll be buying those ASAP.

I'm really looking forward to trying out my Belly Bandit. Is that weird?