With the release of The Cursed Child world has once again gone a little bit Potter crazy. Initially I maintained that I absolutely did not want to read the book nor see the west end show but of course I was sucked into the Potter whirlwind within hours of the books release. The thing that kept me maintaining a refusal to acknowledge the Cursed Child is the same thing that sucked me in;
my love for the Harry Potter universe.
I read my first Harry Potter book aged seven, followed quickly by the second and by the time the Prisoner of Azkaban was released I was one of those counting down the days. For me, stuck in a world of abuse, secrets and emerging mental health problems the books were a lifeline. At first they were hope of an escape from my abuser and later a world I could used to escapes the realities of my own. No matter where I've been, at home, in psychiatric hospitals, various countries around the world or just locked in my own head, no matter how dark things have been, I have always had Harry Potter.
When I say that these stories are the most important things in my life (
because of course people aren't things DONT GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST!) I absolutely mean it.
So when the news of The Cursed Child broke I was wary. The film franchise just about scraped through without too much upset but of course the films mostly stay true to the books, they can't really go wrong. But this is new and what if I don't like it? What if my lifeline is tainted by something new and unwelcome?
Now the books have their flaws - most notably their lack of diversity. But they are absolutely perfect.
How can something flawed be perfect you ask..
Because they saved my life.
Simple.
The films are not perfect, they are deeply flawed. They don't include everything I feel they should and Emma Watson is not Hermione Granger.
But I still love them because they are part of the franchise that saved my life.
Given that Emma is not Hermione people would assume that I would be super stoked about the Cursed Child especially after Noma Dumezweni was cast as Hermione because she's black.
But now, because she's still not Hermione.
I am Hermione Granger.
As a seven year old in a world full of secrets and pain I picked up a book who's prominent female character was so similar to myself that it's no wonder I fell in love.
Big teeth, frizzy hair, very brown (POA description) skin and unashamedly clever. Hermione Granger was me. From the hair I was so self conscious about to the teeth I made stick out because I couldn't stock sucking my thumb. And then there was her struggle to navigate the world, as a mixed race child I was never as white as my family and chastised for not being black enough by my peers. My skin was the subject of many names over the years both intended to hurt and just to flippantly describe me.
I used to imagine that despite her parents pride the difference between Hermione and the rest of her family left her feeling isolated even when she was in the muggle world and the status of her blood no longer mattered in the same way I felt isolated around the people who loved me because of the colour of my skin (and later my mental health).
Not only did Hermione look like me (until Warner Bros ripped her off - I do love Emma though) but I could so easily imagine that she felt like me too.
Hermione gave me strength and confidence at a time when my life was shrouded by darkness.
JK Rowling wrote a series of books that saved my life.
But I digress,
I read The Cursed Child.
Part of me wishes I hadn't.
The script lacks all the descriptive language and characterisation that Jo Rowling used to create such an awe inspiring and beautiful series of books. I would imagine (and I'll find out in December 2017) that it is jaw dropping on stage and all the emotion and imagination I find lacking in the written script will be magically injected by the technical wizardry that the west end possesses.
But a good script should progress through linguistics not through staging.
In my opinion anyway.
I spent the days after I read the Cursed Child feeling uneasy and sad. Of course it's a over the top reaction but I'll be the first to admit I can be pretty dramatic.
Now I'm working my way through the Potter series and I feel like I'm at home.
That's is the mark of a good book to me, a book that draws me in no matter who many times I've read it. A book with characters I can understand and a book filled with description and characterisation but still manages to leave space for my imagination to create the world in which I am being immersed.
I think a lot of people are disappointed for relatively similar reasons, not least because of how important these books are to people.
I posted about my initial anxiety on Instagram and the comments and stories that were shared were so wonderful.
Harry Potter changed lives in such important ways that it warms my heart and I don't talk about it enough.
After my Cursed Child blues emerged I picked up the illustrated copy of The Philosophers Stone and suddenly my children who had no interest in Harry Potter have been sucked into both the books and the films, especially Dylan.
I hope more than anything that they love these books as much as I do and develop their own memories and attachments as so many others have.
I hope that they can return to these books as they grow up and have the chance to truly experience this amazing world.
In 2011 when the final film came out Jo Rowling stood on the podium and said
“Whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”
And honestly, it was the most comforting thing I had heard in a long time.
