THIS ISNT A RETURN

I didn't put down my blog or walk away despite taking a rather large break.
I've written before that I'm a rubbish blogger, I can't stick to a plan, I struggle with themes and consistency and I get caught up in life far too much.
Summer came and I pressed pause on so many things, blogging, taking photos, yoga, YouTube (I need natural light) and our routine that keeps me relatively sane.
Our summer was wonderful, the best we've had as a family. We spent so much of our time surrounded by love and exploring that taking the time to sit and actually finish a post just didn't happen. In saying that I have six half written posts that I started but couldn't concentrate on enough to finish. They'll come at some point. Probably.

But school has started again for Dylan, Isla and I and our routine is back in full force. I am centred. I'm doing yoga. I have a new therapist! And I'm ready to pick up my social media again and find try to find some consistency with posting.
Wish me luck.

Pausing for a while is refreshing.
It gave me space to work through the anxieties and pressures I've put on myself in relation to this blog and my YouTube. It also allowed me space to think about what I really want to write about.
I think, although I'm still unsure, that this little blog may slightly veer off path and change direction. Or at the very least add a new passenger to the metaphorical car I'm driving.
I'm back in therapy and I'm going to journal that experience here.
I still want to focus on the children, I still want to talk parenting and general mental health.
But I want to bring something raw and personal in, start a real conversation about mental health, my mental health, that is longer than I can fit into an Instagram caption.

I want to talk more about Isla and her disability which as it transfers was mis diagnosed. It turns out I was so angry at cerebral palsy for no reason because Isla has cervical spinal stenosis, it's very rare in children and the news is new. We're still figuring that out and no doubt I'll have an angry rant or sot angry word vomity rant about that soon. I guess I owe an apology to cerebral palsy, I'm not mad at you.
I'm not really mad at anything if I'm honest, her diagnosis has changed but her prognosis has stayed relatively the same. Maybe it's a little better?
I'm not sure it really matters.
I'll have to work on that one.

I'm pressing play again and I'm going to be better than I was before I paused. I'm more organised, I always am at the start of the school year but I'm really hoping that I'm getting better with age and that my organisation skills have more lasting power.
I'm finishing posts and starting new ones and dinging some bloody structure to my posting.

Life is taking off again. And so is my social media.