TWO ZERO ONE FOUR

Life has been a roller coaster in general for the majority of my life.

Last year however was one of the most life changing and life affirming times of my life thus far. 

For most people the changes that came to me last year would be pretty average, friends, jobs, spirituality(?) but for me these things hit me like a tsunami. And that sounds pretty negative, let me assure you it isn't, it just gives you an idea of the scale of things.

And while all this was happening my Instagram blew up and my blogger and YouTube we kind of laid to rest indefinitely. And while I'm always sad that I haven't documented things, especially in terms of comparison to how I religiously blogged Dylan's first year, I'm so glad I actually lived my life away from my laptop and processed my thoughts and emotions in other ways than venting through a screen.

2014 was a year of growth for me. I feel more comfortable in who I am as a person, as a mother and as a friend. I feel more rooted to the earth in a more spiritual way rather than just the commitment of being a parent (not disregarding the enormity of that).

I've found a hobby that snowballed into a business in my baking and it genuinely makes me happy and I'm hungry for improvement and creativity again.

I practice yoga and meditation almost daily and I'm finding a calm in my storm which is usually raging and quite often pulling me under.

I'm learning with my children and watching them flourish and sometimes not. And working with them at their own pace and to their own ability rather than worrying constantly about milestones and more than anything else, other children.

And I have friends. Bloody hell! I have the most amazing, loving people in my life and every day I feel so fortunate to have them (and their children) in our lives. 

(also have you seen my kids recently? Look at them!)

Everything wasn't sweetness and light last year, but I'm moving forward with the positivity that it gave me. I have so much to look forward to and so much to learn. The prospect of this year excites me rather than fill me with apprehension about the goals I won't fulfil.

I think that's part of the reason I stepped away from blogging for a while, I wanted to find my footing again and I find that hard to do while I feel that I somehow have to stay a certain way to keep the consistency of my posts going. 

I'm ok with that change now though. I'm ok with things not being consistent or particularly coherent for a while because that mirrors real life. 

Change is good, it's necessary and I'm getting better at being on with it. 

All I want for 2015 is to continue on the journey, because it seems to be doing us all the world of good.

Happy New Year.