BIRTH

We were at the hospital by ten to nine on Monday morning. The plan being that I would be monitored for an hour then induced by eleven.
Hospitals being hospitals, things happened and we ended up waiting around till 3pm for the process to start.

After being checked it was decided that I would have the twenty four hour slow release pessary as my cervix was still so thick and far back.
Like with Dylan we were told not to expect anything and yet within ten minutes I was contracting. I stayed hooked up to the monitor for just over an hour to make sure my uterus wasn’t suddenly hyper stimulated. Eventually we wandered off labor ward to meet my mum and Dylan in the hospital cafe for a drink. They left in time and went for a walk, searching for an ice lolly that we never ended up finding.
Ninety minutes later we were back on labor ward, I was contracting six times in every ten minutes (about every ninety seconds for forty seconds per contraction) and had started to feel minor pressure.

They checked me for the first time at 9pm. I was just about 1cm. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed, I’d been contracting well and my body felt like it was progressing but apparently it wasn’t making much headway.
We went for another walk around nine, three laps around the hospital. By the final lap I had to stop walking every time a contraction hit me. They were lasting for a minute each time and hitting me every ninety seconds. 

We got back to labor ward and waited another hour while they got stronger. When I reached the point that I couldn’t ride out the contractions in one position we called my midwife. Moving around through contractions was essential not helpful, it didn’t ease any pain I just couldn’t stay still.
I’d loaded the Harry Potter audiobooks onto my phone so I was pushing myself to handle the contractions silently, using the audiobooks as a way to focus.
After watching me for a few contractions my midwife decided to monitor me. I was moving around so much that most of my contractions weren’t picked up, those that were were measure the strength of the contractions of someone pushing. I wasn’t pushing though, not even close. It was 2.45am when they checked me and I was 2cm dilated.
This time I was genuinely devastated. The pain was hitting me in waves of agony and I was exhausted.
So against using pain relief, I wanted an epidural. I couldn’t go through hours and hours of this pain. I needed to sleep and I needed to keep focused.
Until I reached 4cm all I could have was codeine. The doctor prescribed it at 3am. It takes an hour to kick in, I checked the time every contraction waiting for time to pass, waiting for the possibility of a break. Harrison fell asleep in the recliner and I went to the bathroom.

Sitting in there I realised that my contractions we coming faster and with each contraction I was pushing. I couldn’t stop. It was just about to turn 3.15am, I was in the tiny bathroom of our room on labor ward.
I staggered out the bathroom and doubled up over a chair, shouting at Harrison that I couldn’t stop pushing. He called our midwife while I contracted and pushed and panicked.
It felt like such a long time but in reality it can’t have been long at all before Harrison decided that in lieu of the midwife turning up he needed to get someone.
He came back with a doctor who started asking me about my induction, whether my waters had broken and how things felt. Contractions were coming twenty seconds apart, my answers didn’t make much sense they were so disjointed. She checked me over and everything changed, I had to get in the bed NOW. 

“Your baby is coming and I cannot deliver her next to a bin".
I protested, arguing that I was only 2cm dilated so this couldn’t possibly be happening, yet my body was pushing and I couldn’t control it. I had my first contraction on the bed at 3.27am. Suddenly my mind was focused again and I could make sense of things, as bewildering as they were, through the pain. I don’t know if it was genuine or not but the pain lifted, only slightly, but I could control it unlike before when it felt like it was tearing me apart. The doctor had to reach and pull out the pessary between contractions. My waters hadn’t broken, I could feel feel them surrounding her like they were preventing her from coming out. At 3.30am mid contraction they burst (all over my strawberries) and I felt her almost slip further down as if they really had been obstructing her. Three more contractions. One, I reached down and felt her head. Two, I could feel her moving around, stretching her arms up to her face. Three, she was born, face up with get hands by her ears. At 3.40am. She was straight onto my chest while we left her cord intact till she’d got all the blood then Harrison cut it. All around me people were walking in, talking and cleaning, my midwife came back from her break, another midwife trying to clean the room that was never meant for labor and another bringing in the equipment to weigh Isla and perform the first newborn tests. But all I could focus on was her. This new life on my chest. And I was so amazed. Not even an hour before I was broken and then suddenly she was here. Living, moving, breathing and perfect. And so much like her brother.
And the pain that had been washing over me for hours and hours had gone. Cliches aside, the light, weightless sensation I felt was so alien after months of pain. And I couldn’t believe that this tiny human had moments before been inside me. I’d grown and nourished her for months and suddenly she was in my arms. 

THIRTY SEVEN WEEKS PREGNANT

We've done it, reached thirty seven weeks! Congratulations all round.

It's been a rough ride, complications have hit us at every point, but we've finally made it.

As of today there are three days till I'm induced (actually less at its 9pm and I'm going in at 9am on Monday morning. I could even start an hourly countdown by this point if I were so inclined.)

Little bird was so low down this morning that I felt like she was going to fall out, I very nearly called Harrison home from work at 6am because I was worried about spontaneous labor. 

I'm still in a lot of pain, and I'm still extremely uncomfortable. My blackouts are becoming more and more frequent but I'm trying to ignore all of that. With only a few days left I'm trying to get completely prepared (i.e I'm cleaning a lot) and make the most of my life as it is already.

It's my twenty second birthday tomorrow so of course family are descending on the house for a BBQ and on Sunday we're off to celebrate my cousins twenty first birthday. So we're a busy little family this weekend.

It's strange, on Sunday evening when we leave my cousins house Dylan will leave with my mum and I'll go home alone. I wont see him again until he's a big brother. 

In fact it really hit me that I'm about to have another child on Wednesday night. A bit late I know. 

But there it is.. Our lives are about to change monumentally and prepared or not it's going to happen in three days.

THIRTY SIX WEEKS PREGNANT

Thirty six weeks! Finally. Well actually I'm thirty seven weeks tomorrow and just incredibly lazy when it comes to blogging. This pregnancy has gone so fast though, with Dylan it felt like years but this time I'm struggling to see where the past few months have gone. Did they even happen?
This week however has been riding on the back of a snail. I think that's because I FINALLY got my induction date!!! July 22nd! That's Monday. Crazy huh?
Also did I mention it's my twenty second birthday on Saturday?
I realised a few days ago that the reason I blog so little despite my sudden bout of commitment, is because my bump makes it so incredibly uncomfortable to sit anywhere with my laptop. Actually it makes it uncomfortable to sit anywhere regardless of a laptop. Or lay anywhere. Little bird is now taking up so much space in my torso that I move like I had a rod up my back. She also sticks her knees and elbows out and I suddenly have these odd angular lumps producing from my bump.

I had my final scan on Thursday, they estimate little lady is weighing in at 6lb9oz now! A whole 1lb1oz bigger than all of my pregnancy apps tell me is average and almost a pound bigger than Dylan at 37+4. Everyone tells me second babies are bigger than the first but also the second labor is faster. As start to finish my induction with Dylan was a little under eleven hours I'm feeling a little better
My scan also showed that I've gained more fluid! They still don't know what causes it as my GTT came back fine (hoorah for no diabetes!). I suppose that doesn't really matter as I only have five days to go now anyway.
And with five days to go we're all ready. All I have to do is move everything into the relevant rooms on Sunday evening when Dylan is staying at my mum's/ That's weird to think. On Sunday evening I'll kiss him goodbye as my only child and the next time I see him he'll be a big brother and I'll be a mother of two.

Over on my tumblr I've been writing a post a day to count down my last week. You could check them out here.

THIRTY FIVE WEEKS PREGNANT

We really have reached the home stretch now, the final two weeks (give or take a few days of course).
I'll happily admit that the next fortnight cannot go fast enough.
Yesterday I met with my OB to discuss my blackouts, we think it's most likely that baby bird is compressing nerves in my back and that causes me to blackout periodically. I'm glad it's nothing serious but again it's another thing that will be cured when I give birth which makes me ever more anxious. I don't feel especially safe in my daily life while I'm passing out all the time.

Baby bird is still head down, after being breech from sixteen weeks onwards having her head in the right place is an exciting prospect especially as she'd started to drop now. She stretches rather than kicks now changing the shape of my bump completely each time. Dylan sometimes sits and watches my stomach, stroking and patting it before saying "Goodbye Isla" and pulling my t-shirt back down.

I didn't gain any weight this week but neither my midwife or OB are concerned by this. I'm a little disappointed that I wont reach my initial weight gain goals for this pregnancy but that doesn't matter too much. What matters is that my body is still providing for little bird and that she's thriving.

This week I finished everything shopping wise, I have the playmat here and on Wednesday our new pram is being delivered. This pregnancy has gone so fast, it feels like I only ordered the pram a few weeks ago. I also put together a gift box of 'big brother' presents for Dylan. Some t-shirts, a book about being a big brother and a little wooden doctors kit. 

Despite being ready now isn't the time for Isla to come into the world, I'm supposed to be interviewed on national TV next Tuesday morning (how crazy is that?). In saying that I've had some weird and extremely painful pains over the last few days so who knows.

I can't believe we only have just over a week left to go now. I'll get my induction date on Friday (when I'm 36+1) so we'll know for sure then but whatever the outcome there really isn't long to go.

SPEAKING OUT

As this is a new blog there's really only a shadow of my past documented here.

I've vaguely mentioned my struggles with anorexia and of course my Youtube is linked, however thus far I haven't spoken about it here.

This particular post isn't about my previous or current struggles although I will talk about them later on. 

Over recent weeks I've been working closely with a journalist. Elsewhere online I've mentioned her name and the company but after learning that some representatives of eating disorder charities were hassling her*, they're details I won't mention again.

After speaking openly online for years, documenting various relapses and times spent in treatment being given the opportunity to talk on a much wider platform than my blog was nerve wracking but amazing. 

For a long time I've felt that if I had had someone I could relate to, someone my age, someone honest and open I may have been more successful in my previous attempts at recovery. Eating disorders are still such a taboo subject, portrayed in such a black and white sense or else completely disregarded that I felt that being given the chance to speak openly about the murky grey reality of life with an eating disorder could potentially help so many people.

The first publication to pick up my story were Closer UK. I've written about it here and spoken on YouTube  here and here . In honesty it was a nightmare of facts and quotes ripped apart to portray the image of me that fitted the story of "I'm pregnant but I'm still starving myself.. Anorexia is about vanity.. I don't care enough to stop".

http://smdeatingdisorders.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/issues-after-closer-holly-griffiths/

From there I had two choices, take my story to other publications and hope for a fairer portrayal and a story that could potentially help someone or pull out and hide.

I opted for the first. 

I was interviewed for a magazine that is yet to be published, filmed a short documentary that will air on German and Swiss TV and started forming plans to appear on UK breakfast TV shows.

Yesterday a much fairer (yet of course still not completely full - it's impossible to include everything in just under 2000 words) version of my story was published on the Mail Online

By midnight last night a google name search of my name looked like this 

Today it was also published in three national newspapers.

I was completely blown away at how fast it spread and how many different media sources picked it up. 

Within hours I was contacted by more magazines and this morning I spoke briefly on BBC London radio breakfast show.

And this time it seems positive.

This time, not only are the articles fair but they have my blogs and YouTube linked. People have watched my videos and read my blogs and aside from messages of support which I truly value, I've had people discussing changes of opinion. I've read comments from people speaking of their own struggles, speaking up against the misinformed or ignorant comments and most importantly comments and messages saying that these articles and this insight is helpful.

I've had a few people question my motives. Money? Attention? 

Both are fair, especially given the amount of people I've spoken to thus far and our plans to continue.

But I'll say it here for the last time.

Anorexia ravaged my life. It ravaged my mind, body and soul. Destroyed relationships and opportunities and put my family through hell. No matter the progress I've made I'm still struggling and still fighting. And even if/when I reach the stage of full psychological recovery my body will bare the physical side effects for the rest of my life.

And looking back, if at fourteen when I first relapsed I had had access to an open, honest story like mine has become things could have been so different. If I hadn't been so torn between the stick thin glamour of the media and the stark horror stories relayed to me in treatment I might have understood what my life would become.

And then I think about mothers or mums to be in this situation. The judgement and stigma I've faced and I fear for them. I was so lucky to have such amazing support from my family while I was pregnant with Dylan and access to intensive treatment for my anorexia. The majority of women aren't so lucky. That support and treatment helped me see that mental illness does not make you a bad parent and gave me the resources to stand up to anyone who told me otherwise.

Fear of judgement stops people getting help. Fear of having your child taken away from you or being branded as selfish or a bad mother.

I wanted to show that you can get help, that you don't have to be afraid and that you can have happy, healthy children despite battling with an eating disorder. I wanted to show that it's possible.

But I wanted to be honest about the dangers that the long term effects of anorexia have on your body.

I didn't do this for money or attention, I did it to hopefully help people understand and become aware of an issue. 

To hopefully change some people's minds and get rid of a tiny bit of ignorance and judgement. 

To remind people that they aren't alone and they don't have to be afraid.

To show that being thin isn't as it seems in the media.

To help.

More: 

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shine-on/holly-griffiths-speaks-being-pregnant-anorexic-202406056.html

http://mobile.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/holly-griffiths-shares-her-daily-struggle-as-a-pregnant-anorexic/story-fnet08ck-1226674724350

http://www.studentmidwife.net/fob/eight-months-pregnant-and-8-stone-anorexic-mother-desperately-trying-to-gain-weight-for-baby.88861/

http://www.aztecatrends.com/notas/actualidad/148755/impacta-fotografa-de-mujer-embarazada-de-8-meses-con-anorexia

*to clarify, I'm genuinely really unhappy with the situation. Having not contacted me at all, making assumptions that I was being exploited by having my story published completely disregards my ability to make rational and well considered choices. 

I'm particularly upset as this particular charity is one I've encouraged publications to link to as a means for people to find professional support and a charity I have very much hoped to be able to work with for a long time now.

I haven't been pushed or manipulated, I talked openly on my blogs and YouTube about these exact same subjects long before I was contacted by the press. This is a choice I am making for myself.

PREGNANCY - WEEKS FIFTEEN TO THIRTY THREE

FIRST TRIMESTER

During my first trimester I was sick as a dog, sicker in fact. Pregnancy does not treat me well, which at least this time I was prepared for. I lost eighteen pounds thanks to morning sickness, my hair fell out and I was generally really unwell. All perfect over Christmas and while we were moving house.

I spent a lot of time laying down in my first trimester and while I laid there feeling sorry for myself I made huge lists of potential wardrobe purchases for little bird. I suddenly developed a sense of longing for a girl based on the variety of clothes I could buy. Pregnancy hormones makes you a little crazy I guess.

SECOND TRIMESTER

I finally gained back four of the eighteen pounds I'd lost despite still having pretty violent morning sickness. Gaining weight is strange. I'm starting to have the niggles of anorexia in my mind over the weight gain and yet I'm setting myself weight gain goals that should terrify me. It's ok though, I'm prepared for this. 

Cravings are kicking my butt big time, I NEED a fiorentina from Pizza Express and all the veggie burgers from Nandos. Cravings are pointless when you have morning sickness because you're just ill and yet you want all this rich (spicy) food. I also need some lemon drizzle cake, except I hate lemon drizzle cake, so that's probably not the best idea.

At a scheduled growth scan we found out we're having a girl this time. Obviously we'd agreed on a boys name already but we're still arguing over potential girls names. I like Lola, Beatrix and Evelyn. Harrison doesn't. He likes Ruby. 

We've decided on a name: Isla Evelyn.

The urge to start nesting is driving me insane, I've been obsessively cleaning and organising the house so I feel like I'm doing something. Is it too early to set up the cot?

My milk seems to be 'drying up' and changing back into colostrum. While Dylan isn't showing signs of giving up completely he's starting asking for a bottle of almond milk at nap time instead of the boob. I hadn't really thought about this happening as a side effect of my pregnancy. He's nearly two now though so I suppose it's something I should have considered happening anyway. If I'm honest, sometimes with how tender my boobs have become over the last few weeks, breastfeeding isn't at all enjoyable anymore. Even if he does stop I feel like when little bird is here he'll want to start again, I'm ok with that, tandem feeding doesn't feel impossible.

I've gained more weight, ten pounds back so now I only have another eight to go before I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm also starting to get a bump now which is helping with the weight gain somewhat. 

She moves so much now, even Harrison can feel her wriggling about when he has his hand on my stomach.  

Dylan came to my twenty week abnormality scan, he watched the screen the whole time.

Half way there.

I've started buying clothes, it's a downward spiral from here really. I'm determined to buy as little pink as possible which is actually quite fun. 

People keep asking why I've done so much already, by now I've ordered her pram, decorated her bedroom and trying to buy as much as possible ready for her arrival. I'm a bit bored of explaining about the constraints anorexia has put on my body and how that affects my pregnancies. I need to be ready to go from about thirty two weeks. 

I've gained another 1.5lbs now bringing me up to 109.3lbs. I'm getting there with this weight gain thing.

My heart isn't doing so well, my cardiologist isn't very happy and I'm having extra monitoring now, but of course this is as expected and I think he has a few plans in place for if anything gets too serious. 

I've been having loads of braxton hicks. They aren't fun at all. 

Today I got my favorite message from Baby Centre: Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With a sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance.

I dyed my hair and started taking Biotin supplements. Hopefully the supplements will stop is snapping and falling out.

Another two pounds gained, I'm 111.5lbs now. Depending on where little bird is laying my bump completely changes now, it makes getting dressed strange as for the most part I'm still in my 24's, but sometimes if halfway through the day she moves right down into my pelvis they can feel a little tight.

I'm addicted to Ebay.

THIRD TRIMESTER

Dylan is Two!! Where has time gone?! This week we've focus on him and celebrating his last birthday as an only child. I'm so proud of him, his attitude is so happy and chilled out and he astounds me with how many things he just picks up and carries into everyday life on a daily basis. I can't believe I'm going to have all of this again with Isla. It makes me fat too emotional to think about it.

I actually lost just over a pound and now I'm back down to 110.4lbs. I spent a while beating myself up about it but I've let it go now especially after my growth scan where she measured perfectly for her gestation. They estimate she weighs about 2lb 10oz now!

I've started to really crave mars bars and kiwis. I love kiwis so that's fine, but I don't even like chocolate.

Things are getting more and more difficult, braxton hicks, heart palpitations, dizziness and back ache make everyday life pretty unpleasent. I keep telling myself it's only another nine weeks (give or take) until they induce me, if I can get through that horrendous first trimester I can do another nine weeks. 

I hope it goes fast. 

Baby bird is the size of a cabbage. A friend pointed out I now have my very own Cabbage Patch doll.

Last night I was taken into hospital contracting for 40 seconds every two minutes. After four hours of not progressing and some medication to stop the contractions they let me go home. 

We had two scans this week. One our normal growth scan where they estimated her to now weigh 4lb 1oz and then we had a 4D bonding scan. The bonding scan was amazing. I had one for Dylan and we've been comparing the photos. It's so crazy how much they look alike, they honestly could be twins, although I think Isla has a smaller chin. 

I gained back that pound and I'm 111lbs again. I've been here for ages which is making me nervous, but bird is growing fine and my blood results are all stable so I've been told not to worry. 

The scan did show some abnormal levels of amniotic fluid. We've been told not to worry too much and I've been scheduled to have the GTT and another scan to check everything out in more detail. 

Pregnancy is definitely reaching the impossible stage. I've been advised that I should go on bed rest for be benefit of my health, but with a toddler to care for that's not going to happen. I'm trying to stay positive because extra stress and anxiety are the exact opposite of what I need. 

I had my scan to check my amniotic fluid levels. They've increased even more so are now even further out of the normal range. Little birds growth has also spiked and she's suddenly gained a lot of weight 1lb 9 oz in the past two weeks taking her up to 5lb 10oz which is what Dylan weighed when he was born at thirty seven weeks.

Speaking of Dylan he's suddenly really interested in my 'boo-booies' again, he keeps trying to latch on. Maybe I wasn't so crazy in thinking he'd restart once I'm feeding the smallest one. As well as that he's being amazing recently. I think the weather finally being nice is contributing to this, but being able to run around in the sun is bringing out the best in him which is of course helpful when I'm in so much pain. I do worry though as I've been blacking out even more than usual over the past two weeks. I'm seeing my midwife on Thursday (when I turn thirty five weeks) so we'll talk about it then, I'm hoping we can book my induction date sooner rather than later so I can try and arrange some time to relax and visit my physiotherapist a few times before go time. 

I've finally gained some more weight, two pounds to be exact, bringing me to 113lbs!  This is an achievement, despite it also coming with the reality that I wont reach my 120lbs (minimum) goal by thirty seven weeks. I'm pleased I've finally gained some weight as it means I'm not physically losing weight while bird is growing. Although I suspect it's just a case of my weight remaining the same while she's grown and my fluid has increased. People have been asking lots about my estimate for my post-patrum weight and measurements. That's pretty unhelpful, I'm trying to drown out the anorexia at the moment, especially now I'm gaining weight and getting bigger. 

I still need to buy the playmat, record book, photo album and a 'special blanket'. Hopefully I'll get that done next week or early the following week. In reality I only have three weeks left anyway so I don't have any other time to get it done. 

Also, I've mentioned on Youtube, I completely forgot to buy any 0-3 months clothes. I have masses of tiny baby, early baby, up to one month and 3-6 months stuff but no 0-3 months. Luckily I've spotted some lush collections of stuff so I'll be buying those ASAP.

I'm really looking forward to trying out my Belly Bandit. Is that weird?

DAYS IN THE SUN

 

Days like today, when the sun is shining and Daddy has a day off are the days when I feel like I'm making up for the time I'm losing with Dylan due to this pregnancy. Out in the sun where he can run and explore he is in his most natural state. He's happy and free and his tendency to have tantrums due to his frustration over his inability to communicate melts away.
I've noticed that while the weather has been clearer recently and we've spent more time outside his development as far as his speech is concerned has improved dramatically.
It's good for both of us, spending time in the sun and fresh air, giving him more spaced to explore and me a space to sit back and relax while I watch him learn more about the world around him.

While our garden is still a work in progress we retreat to either the park near our house or to Harrison's parents house. Dylan loves to explore their garden with all the bushes and nooks he can seek out. We also found these two adorable toadstools which I definitely have my eye on now (two toadstools, two babies....).
Visiting them also gives me the chance to let Dylan play with his grandparents while I can relax, which at thirty four weeks pregnant is a god send.
Sometimes I suspect that these last few weeks take more away from the time I spend running and playing with Dylan on an interactive level than having another baby will. I'm hoping the weather stays clear so we can spend more time outdoors together before it's time for Isla to arrive.

WHATS IN THE BAG - HOSPITAL BAG EDT.

I have two bags. One for me and one for Isla. I find it's a lot easier to have everything separated so I don’t have to search through a big bag to find a hair tie or charger while I’m irrationally angry because I'm contracting every few minutes. It’s also easier to carry two bags in the event that I go into labor on my own as I can sling one over my shoulder and carry the other or we can grab one each and be done with it. 

I pretty much followed the book when it came to packing my hospital bag for Dylan. I ended up with so much stuff I had no use for that ended up thrown in the corner of my bedroom when I got home because I couldn’t be bothered to unpack it. This time I’m packing lighter and only packing what I’ll need.

   

 My Bag:

My handheld hospital notes - obviously.. These aren’t actually in my bag. I have these in my handbag and take them everywhere buy when the times comes they’ll be in my bag (or hand).
Button down night shirt - to wear while I’m giving birth. It’s big and comfortable and the buttons down the front mean I can open it up to pop her on my chest for skin to skin as soon as she’s born.
Bikini - for the bath.. I don’t feel like naked bath labouring so I’m taking a bikini.
Two pairs of underwear - plain black mini briefs. One for straight after birth and another I’m case the first pair are ruined OR if I stay longer than six hours and want to change before I go home.
Two nursing bras (in different sizes) - one is a 32 C and one is a 34 C. I have different sizes because I want to wear the one that’s the most comfortable so I’ll be able to swap.
Two nursing tanks - same logic as the underwear. If I end up staying longer than six hours and want a fresh one I’ll have one on hand.
Pj shorts - for post birth sitting around and resting. I prefer shorts to trousers and it’ll be mid July so I don’t want to get too hot.
Cleanser and toner - I like feeling like my skin is fresh, especially if I’m going to have photos taken afterwards.
Hair ties
Phone charger
Old iPhone - I’ve decided I want the Harry Potter audio books on hand and they take up so much space that I’ve put them all on my old phone.
Book
Camera (except I’m buying a new one before she’s born)

Not pictured - light makeup (because I wear it everyday), bottle of lucozade, snacks.

Isla's bag:

Newborn nappies (disposable)
Wipes
Breast pads 
Two muslins
2 body suits (tiny baby)
Sleep suit (also going home outfit)
Hat
Socks
Cardigan 
Belly bandit 
Not pictured: a blanket. I’ve been told that two people have wanted to buy blankets from our wishlist so I haven’t packed one yet. But I have a few plain ones on standby anyway.

 Things you’ll find on hospital bag lists that I’m not taking:

Going home clothes for myself - I’ll wear the trousers I wear when I go in and one of the nursing vests. As long as I make sure they’re comfortable trousers its fine. And extra outfit is useless.
Special socks - pointless
Cooling spray or mini fan - pointless
Pregnancy/breastfeeding pillow - pointless
Extra outfits for Isla - I decided that until we go home I only want Isla in a bodysuit and socks. The ward is warm and it’ll be the middle of summer. I want to have as much skin to skin contact with her as possible so I only intend on getting her dressed to leave.
Scratch mits